Anton in Show Business closed yesterday to the tune of a great performance and an excellent audience. Because I played the part of a critic, I had a small notepad with me at all times, and through the course of the run had taken some bizarre and hilarious scribblings that often read like the label on a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap. Each performance got a fresh page with “JOBY’S BOOK” written in all-caps across the top, the date, the run time for each act, and a page or two of notes.

Sometimes the day’s notes were an inspired, yet often unintelligible, in-character response to a confrontation; sometimes they were the result of the sheer tedium of sitting through the show for the twelfth time. I promised the Anton cast and crew that I would publish the notes at the end of the run – so, in memoriam, here are the highlights:

November 8, 7:30 pm (preview)

Sodomizing!!
offensive for the sake of being offensive
really weird stuff going on with the stagehands
Christine?

November 9, 7:30 pm

Self-note: revisit overly self-aware/nervousness
Jane Martin = John Jory <-- a MAN!
I can’t believe THIS OUTRAGEOUS Horrible “God” Artist!
Ralph? Boy?
come up with an answer for “How do you like it so far?”

November 10, 7:30 pm

ALARM x2
2^nd time door issue
broken bike
I am so pissed right now

November 11, 2 pm

Story idea: bad attitude – meeting people with bad attitudes – had hoped for better

November 16, 7:30 pm

this is out
iron Kate’s pants
make notes for reserved seats – close call!
Casey is threatening me

November 17, 7:30 pm

chairs clanking backstage
dressing scene – pen light running up ramp
airplane scene super loud backstage
flashlights, curtains
I just can’t even believe this – this is ridiculous – insufferable. GOD?! NO.
Story v. Interpretation <-- dull, lacking feeling, hateful
HAMBONE CHEESEBALL
[doodle: Joby played tic tac toe with herself today. X won.]

November 18, 2 pm

Door wrong every time this week – redress the former and satirize the latter!
Director v. The People: When does ART become religion? FORCING people into faith without giving them the substance – the STORY – to go on.
[doodle: A bit of long division to figure out that the “Theater Tickets All Year” (6 for $99) work out to $16.50 per ticket. Mental note that it’s a good deal for the Guthrie and others, bad deal for Walking Shadow and others.]

November 19, 7:30 pm (pay-what-you-can performance)

LH: remember to make proper “reserved” signs + LAUNDRY
I just can’t even believe this absolute nonsense. Zoe Benston is going down. “Challenging” the audience is unforgivable as a performer. (general note to readers – the Zoe comment was Joby’s doing – Leigha likes Zoe, and has no intention of taking her down).
Is the word “masturbate” really used in Springtime for Hitler? I think I heard it.

November 23, 7:30 pm

That is not a good answer to the race question.
Art vs. God – WTF?!! Inappropriate! Tobacco interests right on the heels of religion – that is something…
Kid: “Excuse me, did he say, ‘I will fuck you with my art?’

Joby: (breathe deeply) ‘yes.’

Kid: ‘Okay. Thank you.’

Young fellow – it looks like he was looking for a band name.
Walkout after makeout scene! Ha – prudes.

November 24, 7:30 pm

THE DIRECTOR IS NOT GOD!!!
“interpretation” v. “story” STORY OUGHT TO WIN.

November 25, 2 pm

LH: remember to take home brown pants
unbelievable – artist pitting art against audience. This is ____.

November 30, 7:30 pm

Casey Mulgraw is bossy and just plain wrong. And that director – whooaaa boy – what a joke. He’s just a total nutcase. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
BMSSG = Bargain Mart Suburban Shoppers’ Guide.
BMSSG is a good start, BMSSG is a good start, BMSSG is a good start.

December 1, 7:30 pm

I am so engraged. Rage rage rage. Great artist my ass.
Casey Mulgraw is on the side of the fascist director.
Okay, I feel better now. I am better than this. I am better than them. (another Joby note, definitely not Leigha)

December 2, 2 pm

Racial?
Great Artist?! I think not. I think NOT. I don’t know how it’s possible that these artists are going to manage with this director – he’s crazy and crazy.

And that was all she wrote. Good night, Joby.