If it looks like a brand-new copy of The Help, mailed courtesy of the Screen Actors Guild Awards, it’s because it is.

One of the many benefits of SAG membership include an onslaught of free movies ‘round this time of year, all in hope of earning my vote.  Makes a girl feel special.

While relatively tedious to compile, I’ve come to love these year-end reviews.  They remind me that I actually make a living at my craft, no matter how insecure I get during the course of the year about my abilities or accomplishments (or seeming lack thereof).  Lists like these remind me that I am doing what I love, and am being rewarded for it.  Lists like these remind me that my career choice bought me passage into my very first house, all on my own, and keeps me there.

Because let’s be honest – there is always a point (or five) in the year when I panic.  I think, ohmygod, they’ve finally realized that I’m a total fraud and NOW I WILL NEVER WORK AGAIN.  EVER.  This happens regularly.  Without fail.  And then I end up inexplicably landing another incredible gig and think, oh, well, okay – maybe I’m not that bad.  It is a joy and an honor to be so lucky.

Without further ado, my performance highlights of 2011:

January
Continued part-time work at the Science Museum of Minnesota on the Science Live team – performing live science demonstrations and science-related short plays for museum audiences.

Marketplace Events spots – third year running.  Ty Pennington and me on national TV and radio urging you to attend home shows across the U.S.  TV commercials aired on HGTV and ABC and their affiliates.  Recorded at Audio Ruckus.

VOs for General Mills, but I took very poor notes about this, and have no recollection of what it was for.  My guess is that it was, perhaps, some pickups for the 42 spots I did back in December for Progresso Light Soups, Yoplait and Yoplait Light Yogurts, and Big G Cereals national TV spots.  Note to self in 2012: take better notes.  Recorded at Babble-On for Shout! Creative.

February
Script workshop and stage-direction reading for public presentation of Carson Kreitzer’s new play, Behind the Eye, as part of The Playwrights’ Center’s Ruth Easton series.  Funded by the National Endowment for the Arts and commissioned by the Cincinnati Playhouse in the Park for a world premiere in April.

Not much else to report other than travel to Florida.  It was warm.  I remember needing that.  Oh yes, and travel to Madison, WI, to teach museum-theater techniques to institutions across the U.S.

March
VO for the trailer of TRIUMPH67, an independent feature-length film that went on to become the official selection of the Twin Cities Arab Film Festival.

Spent the day in studio at Minnesota Public Radio (MPR), recording the voice for a sultry character in The Winner, a pilot for Minnesota Stories – a new program dedicated to showcasing Minnesota writers.

VO for Target – a short film about inclusiveness called You Make Us.  Recorded at Audio Ruckus.

April
Table-read of a new script by Patrick Coyle at The Jungle Theater.

The Winner, recorded in March, airs twice on Minnesota Public Radio.

May
VO for Cadillac.  With Laurence Fishburne.  I played his talking GPS.  Recorded at Babble-On for Fallon.

I bought my very first house, all by myself.  I think this is what officially makes me an adult, but I’m still not quite sold on that idea.  The only reason I’m including this here, amongst my gigs, is because those VO gigs are what made this possible.

June
Script workshop and stage-direction reading for public presentation at the Playwrights’ Center of Scratch, a new play by Shira Naharit.

Started rehearsals for Minnesota Middle Finger, Ben San Del’s Minnesota Fringe Festival entry.  Yes, Fringe is in August.  We started way, way early because of everyone’s insane schedules.  I think when all was said and done we only had 12 rehearsals.

July
VO demos for Hormel, recorded at Modern Music/Fischer Edit for BBDO.

Co-wrote and produced a short satirical 1950’s-style educational film, The Wonders and Worries of Nanotechnologyon behalf of the Science Museum of Minnesota for The Nanoscale Informal Science Education Network (NISE Net).  Film + Production by Teddy Media.

August
2011 Minnesota Fringe Festival, and my performance in Ben San Del’s Minnesota Middle Finger with the incomparable John Middleton and Tim Hellendrung.

VO spots (more, again) for Marketplace Events home shows with Ty Pennington – TV and Radio.  Continued airings on HGTV and ABC.  Recorded at Audio Ruckus.

Three-day script workshop at The Playwrights’ Center of Outcasts of Eden, a new play by Andie Arthur.

Served as host/barker for the AFL-CIO Labor Pavilion at the Minnesota State Fair, on behalf of AFTRA.

Cast in kaotic good productions’ The Cooking Show con Karimi & Comrades: Viva Las Roots! to be presented at Intermedia Arts in October 2011.

September
Cast as both Anne Bonny and Mary Read in the Science Museum of Minnesota’s next major exhibition, Real Pirates, as well as cast in the publicity crew for advance event appearances.  Exhibition opens mid-February 2012.

Attended the 7^th annual Ivey Awards – Minneapolis/St. Paul’s version of the Tonys.  Very, very swank.  Very, very inspiring.  I know I said that last year, but I still mean it.

VO spot for General Mills – radio spot for Yoplait Yogurt in the NYC market.  Recorded at Audio Ruckus for Shout! Creative.

October
Cast in The Peanut Butter Factory’s next production, Rajiv Joseph’s Gruesome Playground Injuries – a two-person show with Adam Whisner to be presented late winter/early spring 2012.

Went on a three-day writing retreat to northern Minnesota with the company of kaotic good productions’ The Cooking Show con Karimi & Comrades: Viva Las Roots! to create character and storyline.

VO narration for short documentary Does Every Silver Lining Have a Cloud?, a look at the effect of nanosilver on the environment, created by the Museum of Life + Science in Durham, North Carolina, on behalf of the Nanoscale Informal Science Education Network (NISE Net).  Recorded at Babble-On.

VO for the National Marrow Donor Program’s annual council awards ceremony recognition film segments.  Recorded at Aaron/Stokes for Blue 60 Pictures.

Script workshop and stage-direction reading at the evening performance of Sarah Gubbins’ new work, The Water Play at The Playwrights’ Center.

Performances of kaotic good productions’ The Cooking Show con Karimi & Comrades: Viva Las Roots!at Intermedia Arts.

November
Performances continue of kaotic good productions’ The Cooking Show con Karimi & Comrades: Viva Las Roots!at Intermedia Arts.

Got my eyes did.  Yep.  Lasik.  No more contacts or glasses.  This changes everything on stage and in the recording booth, for the better.

Spent the day at the Hennepin County Courthouse, serving as a key witness in Faegre & Benson’s mock trial program.

December
VOs for Marketplace Events Home Shows with Ty Pennington – fourth year running!  Recorded at Audio Ruckus.

Appeared on Kare 11 News morning program as Anne Bonny, marketing for the Science Museum of Minnesota’s Real Pirates exhibition opening February 2012.

Script workshop and stage-direction reading at the evening performance of Kira Obolensky’s new play, Vasa Lisa at The Playwrights’ Center, co-presented by Ten Thousand Things.  Workshop in preparation for a late-spring full production by Ten Thousand Things.

Epilogue
2011, you treated my career well, and for that I thank you.  2012, we’re going to roll up our shirtsleeves and till this soil for continued growth.  My last major career goal was to make my living as an artist, which I have been doing for the last few years; it’s time to dream bigger dreams.  And then run to catch them.

Mero Cocinero’s PopUpKitchen opens tonight at Intermedia Arts!  It closes Saturday, November 5 (si, that’s just one short week), so be sure to swing by for a killer four-course meal served up by Mero and the rest of his comrades (yours truly included).  Seatings are at 7 pm tonight and tomorrow, and then again Wednesday through Saturday, November 2-5. Reservations recommended but not required.

In true Dia de los Muertos tradition, we’ll be honoring our ancestors through food, telling stories, and cooking together – all with healthy doses of laughter.  It’s highly interactive, so we may just hand you a knife and ask you to chop tonight’s carrots with us.

For ticket information and further details, visit ¡Viva Las Roots! at Intermedia Arts.  See you on the other side, mis compañeros.  There, we shall dance together.

Getting cast for this spot provided a funny realization – there were two spots – one for California, one for New York – and I was cast as the New Yorker.  Funny?  Funny how?  Funny because I was raised in San Diego.  California.  It ultimately made perfect sense as the client was looking for two different voices, and the Californian was the mother of teenagers (doubtful I could pull that off convincingly).  But funny the dichotomy of self-perception v. the perception of others.  Gotta say, I kinda love being considered a believable non-native New Yorker.  It reminds me of the last time I was there, and constantly being asked for directions, even by local kids.  I was in it.  SO in it.

All in all, the session was a delight.  Spending the morning with the boys from Shout Radio Productions/Shout Creative ranks high on my list of good ways to wake up.  And by “boys,” I mean “incredibly talented and accomplished adult men who are also super fun to work with.”  Love those guys.  Love, love, love.

Now – some audio that’s good for your bones:

Yoplait “New York Strong” by Leigha Horton

And yes, I know there’s 10 seconds of general silence at the end with just traffic noises in the background – that’s left open for local tags (“Yoplait is on sale now at your local [insert grocery store name here]”), and I presently have neither the patience nor the…well, just patience really…to edit that ten seconds out.  Too busy carrying my tiny dog around.

All of which I intend to write about.  Really, I do.

But today I need to share something far more immediate and pressing, and I shall preface it thusly: I would rather spend quality time with the hideous giant spider in my garage than plan, shop, and execute an ensemble for some fancy event.  Ensemble as in clothes, not as in performance group.  “But she dresses up for a living!” you say.  “This should be easy and fun for her!”  And to that I say, “Nope. It’s overwhelming. Also? Tedious.”

Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy a good dress and the tiny victory I feel in all the compliments that come with it (hell, I live in dresses in the summertime, but that’s because they’re complete outfits unto themselves – no planning required), but the process of figuring out an ensemble all by myself takes up valuable time that I’d rather spend doing something else.  For the love of god, anything else.  And now you understand my personal crusade to canonize all good costumers everywhere.

So the fabulous Ivey Awards are on Monday night.  Yesterday, I obtained an ensemble.  And could not, would not, have done so without the tireless determination of The Most Divine Miss Emily Taylor and her most appreciated stylist tendencies.  Sainthood is most certainly yours, my dear.

The final numbers are in, and out of 167 shows and just over 48,000 tickets sold, Minnesota Middle Finger was #5 in ticket sales.  Audiences who chose to review our show gave us a solid 4.5 average rating out of 5 kitties (yes, instead of stars we have kitties; don’t ask).  We officially sold out twice.  We received the “encore” performance in our venue.  All in all, a pretty fine experience.

And so, a little photographic capsule of the past eleven days:

John's Generators. He sailed them high above the theater for safekeeping, but always seemed to look for them in his pockets first, before remembering.

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Rosé Canseco - in search of the perfect Fringe Cocktail, Round One.

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John, Tim, alley behind the theater, elusive lines.

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This is what John looks like after he pops out of my head and then gets held up by an invisible shotgun.

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Raced to Augsburg for my final opportunity to catch Seth Lepore's "Losing My Religion..." Three people ahead of me in line and the show sold out. I was left with no ticket, no show, and no quarters.

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On stage. Photo: Craig VanDerSchaegen.

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Tim Hellendrug playing "Go Big Red" for me in very possibly the best stage woo-ing scene ever. Ever. Photo: Craig VanDerSchaegen

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And that, dear friends, wraps up another year.  Goodnight, sweet Fringe.  Sleep well, and dream inspiring dreams, for I long to see them breathe come morning.

2000 – The Last Cherry Pit, Ministry of Cultural Warfare (MoCW)
2001 – Into the Acid Fountain (The Federico Fellini Variety Hour), MoCW
2002 – Slaughter House Warming, MoCW
2003 – Industrials, MoCW
2004 – In Defense of Sin (My Friends’ Best Stories), MoCW
2005 – served as The Voice of the Fringe for the official Fringe Festival podcasts (this also happens to be what launched my professional voice-over career, so I think this means I owe the Fringe my firstborn or something.  I can’t remember.  I’ll have to go back and check the paperwork).
2006 – The Unbearable Lightness of Being American, MoCW
2007 – The Tyranny of God’s Love, MoCW (appeared onstage via video, as was touring another show at the time)
2008 – blogged my brains out in exchange for a Fringe Press Pass
2009 – (just watched, and didn’t want to talk about it)
2010 – See You Next Tuesday, Walking Shadow Theatre Company

It is now a joy and a pleasure to add 2011 to the list:

2011 – Minnesota Middle Finger, Ben San Del

Leigha Horton. photo: Craig VanDerSchaegen

Tim Hellendrung, John Middleton, and I opened Ben San Del’s Minnesota Middle Finger last night to a sold-out house, robust laughter, and excellent reviews. It’s been such an honor to work with these delightful guys, and I cannot wait to see how the rest of the run plays out. Do come!

Sat., Aug. 6, 8:30 pm
Sun., Aug. 7, 5:30 pm
Thur., Aug. 11, 10 pm
Fri., Aug. 12, 4 pm
Sat., Aug. 13, 7:30 pm

John Middleton, Leigha Horton, Tim Hellendrung. photo: Craig VanDerSchaegen

Smooooooth. Sure, sure, it’s awesome that he’s got some killer underscoring from The Black Keys, but let’s face it: the man needs no help from anyone. 

So you can imagine my mind-blown excitement when I got called in to voice his GPS for the new Cadillac radio ad “Shield/What Doesn’t it Do?”  The spots are now playing in New York and LA…I imagine they’ll work their way inward soon, but just in case you would prefer not to be surprised in your car, I offer the file for your personalized listening pleasure:

Teleportation mode initiated, indeed.

Writing Minnesota will air Friday, April 15, at noon and Sunday, April 17, at 6 p.m. on Minnesota Public Radio News stations across the state – listen live (91.1 in the Twin Cities), or stream online.  UPDATE 4/16/2011: Writing Minnesota is now available for online listening!  You can listen to the whole program or just Charles Baxter’s The Winner here.

And now, a peek inside the studio at MPR:

The last time I was in this studio was for a piano performance by Koji Attwood while he was in town for the Walker Art Center’s Baryshnikov: Solos with Piano

Who knew MPR transports their artists to and from studio sessions via pneumatic tubes?

Koji’s piano.

Could this be yet another Neumann condenser mic?  Why yes, yes it could.  I’m sensing a theme here.  As demonstrated by the lighting, you can see that the heavens also approve.

No separation between mics meant my stomach growling could ruin Charles’ take.  I’m neither confirming nor denying whether that actually happened.

Nuemann condenser mic + windscreen.  This beauty deserves representation from all angles.  HOT.

Hanging up the headphones for the day.

Turns out this is what I sound like at 7 am.  Waitwaitwait – let me rephrase that – this is what I sound like when I’m awake at 7 am.