Leigha Horton :: Green room
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Taxes. Bleh. I’m not going to wax poetic about the royal pain in the hoo-ha that is filing taxes every year – especially actor taxes that come in the form of a slew of W-2s and 1099s, a kajillion itemized deductions, and a bevy of industry-specific tax questions that tend to escape the expertise of the average tax preparer. Instead, I plan to arm you with the best resources I have:

ONE – Fox Tax. These fellows know their business. They know artists. They specialize in artists. They’re affordable to artists.

TWO – Actor’s Tax Tips. Free! A brand spankin’-new blog by local actor and tax whiz and all-around responsible and intelligent guy, Mark Bradley.

THREE – The Actor’s Tax Guide. Not free! But totally worth it! Chock-full of industry-specific tax info for you, handy-dandy worksheets, organizational advice, AND tax-deductible! By the aforementioned Mark Bradley. And he’s local, so if he steers you wrong, you “know where to find him.”

FOUR – Backstage.com’s Actors’ Assets. I just found these articles today when looking up what it means to be a “Qualified Performing Artist.” They’re well written and quite informative. I must say, though, $16,000 cap on your adjusted gross income?! What a joke. Too bad “Qualified Performing Artist” and “Successful Performing Artist” seem to be mutually exclusive.

If you, too, have a little bundle of actor tax preparation secrets up your sleeve, by all means, do share. Misery does love its company, does it not?

Oh dearest 2009, how I neglected to give you a proper adieu. But because I always need to have the last word, your shenanigans shall not go untouted nor unscathed. This here is my farewell parting shot:

The past year brought a load of work, a load of appreciation for the work I was getting, and one giant, lazy attitude toward writing about it.  Of particular note, midway through 2009 I was able to make a return to performing for a living.  “What?  What do you mean?    Actresses in the Twin Cities aren’t filthy stinking rich and famous?!”  Surprisingly, no, not so much.  See, periodically a girl like me is obliged to suck it up and take a part-time “day job” to keep some steady cash rolling in while filling in the rest with voice-overs and stage work.  What is this world coming to?

What happened was this: in June I was cast as Nurse and First-Class Stewardess Evelyn Marsden in Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition at the Science Museum of Minnesota, as well as joined the museum’s Science Live Theater cast. When at the museum, but not in 1912 costume, I bust out my mad knowledge of nanoscience to thwart an Evil Scientist From The Future, as well as demonstrate the important properties of surface area by blowing giant fireballs and discussing chemical reactivity.  It has been a joy to perform regularly for the (what by now must be) thousands of audience members taking an interest in science.  Additionally, I am responsible for coordinating and moderating public forums for adults about nanoscale science on behalf of NISE Net (Nanoscale Informal Science Education Network).  Moreover, it’s less than part-time, and voice-overs and stage work really ARE filling in the rest.  Even in this wretchedly hobbled economy.  My stars are indeed lucky.  And I thank them regularly.

So here, for posterity, are my performance highlights of 2009:

January
Marketplace Events spots – Ty Pennington (that dude from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition) and me on TV and radio urging you to attend particular home shows here and there in the U.S.  TV commercials aired on HGTV and ABC and their affiliates.  Read more about my sister’s hilarious request.

February
Nothing of note – sometimes that’s a good thing.  Looks like I was in rehearsal.  Not always a good thing.

March

• Performances of Adam Szymcowicz’s The Captivity Plays at the Bryant Lake Bowl
• After 18 months of pain in the form of oral torture, treatment was completed and my braces were removed.  I was rewarded with awesomely perfect teeth and new-found confidence.  Join me in reliving my happy dance.
• Supervalu spots – radio spots for grocery stores around the U.S. – Albertson’s, Lucky, Supervalu, Shaw’s/Star Market, Cub Foods, Jewel-Osco, Kroger, Hornbacher’s, etc.

April
Nexxus spots – I don’t believe these were ever aired – just voice-overs for a concept by the ad agency for the client.  If it was approved by the client, the agency would then film the spots.  Since I almost never watch commercial TV, I have no idea if these ever made it though the pipeline…my guess is no.

May

• Played Nerve 123080 in full-length feature film, The System, with Voices Media, Inc. – the same folks who brought you the award-winning web-series Chasing Windmills.  Devilish early morning feats trumpeted here.
• Joined Twin Cities AFTRA Board.

June

• Caroline or Change, The Homosexuals’ Guide to the Universe, Tiny Kushner – now these didn’t involve me at all, save for my presence in the audience.  But I found the first two to be incredibly moving, incredibly powerful pieces of work.  And I was thrilled that Minneapolis was able to honor such a fantastic playwright in this way, and that such a fantastic playwright got to workshop a brand-new play in our fine city.
• Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition opens at the Science Museum of Minnesota.  This is my new “day job” wherein I get to spend part of my weekdays engaging with the general public and informing them about Miss Evelyn Marsden’s life and the hospitals aboard the ship in a darling English accent. Personal ship preparation stories here.
• United Health Care spots – my first political spots, something about calling your congresspeople somewhere in New England. Connecticut maybe? Urging you to take a particular stand on some kind of health care legislation.  Don’t remember the particulars, but got to work with the guys at Shout.  And I absolutely adore Mark Benninghofen, so it was a joy.

July
Joined the Science Museum of Minnesota to work on NISE Net (Nanoscale Informal Science Education Network) projects – both performing live stage plays and demonstrations that deal directly with nanoscale science, as well as coordinating and facilitating adult public forums about nanoscale science.  This is only 10 hours per week, and I love it.  And it makes me feel a little closer to my scientific heroes of audio over at RadioLab.  And to paraphrase the words of my delightfully brilliant colleague Michael Ritchie: I realize that my day job can never be bad, because I work in a place with musical stairs.

August

• Fringe Festival fail – this was hard.  This was very, very hard.  The Ministry of Cultural Warfare, the company I have both figuratively and literally sweat and bled for since 2000, planned to do a show.  Due to a Perfect Storm of really crappy circumstances, I had to remove myself from the process, and we ultimately had to back out of the festival at a late date.  It was heartbreaking, and the fallout was equally heartbreaking.
• Marketplace Events radio and TV spots – the plus side of August was that Ty Pennington had some more home shows to promote, so it was back into the studio to add my special female aural sparkle.
• The Minnesota State Fair – I spent an afternoon as host of the Labor Pavilion at “The Great Minnesota Get-Together.”  They gave me a wireless mic, put me in a Green building and the adjacent pavilion, and let me loose amongst the various Labor kiosks and the throngs of fair-goers.  There was trivia, there were hand-crafted on-the-spot copper roses, there were nurses and flight attendants and machinists and steel workers and everything in between.  At the end of my shift, they snapped a photo which made its way into the national AFTRA magazine.

September
I spent nearly half the month on the road, traveling to Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco – this was for my work with the Science Museum of Minnesota on behalf of the Nanoscale Informal Science Education Network (NISE Net), and it was incredibly inspiring.  It did indeed involve some performing, but it also involved meeting with social scientists to consider the social, political, and ethical implications of nanoscale science, and how to get audiences considering these aspects, as well.  We also met for the purpose of setting goals for years 6-10 of NISE Net’s grant funded by the National Science Foundation, and it involved learning how other organizations engage audiences in learning about nanoscale science.  Inspiring, and the locations were fantastic.  I love the Pacific Northwest.

October
Lead role of Hannah in Table Salt Productions’ inaugural show, Burned at the Gremlin Theatre.  Nothing like spending an hour before each performance putting glue on my face, letting it dry and manipulating it and coloring it to make it look like nasty scar tissue.  While it was a serio-comic post-apocalyptic tale, it was a joy to make a foray back into dramatic work.  Read a little more about it.

November

• Workshop and public reading of Dog and Wolf – an incredibly well-crafted, powerful,  and riveting play about a Bosnian refugee by Catherine Filloux, in which I played the lead, Jasmina.  This play is being produced Off-Broadway this February.
• My first public nanoscience forum about privacy, civil liberties, and nanotechnology.  It was a small group of about 15 people, but helped me get my feet wet.  Now that I’ve done something in the accepted mold, I can hack it and make it more interesting, accessible, and engaging.  Watchout Twin Cities – you’re about to get schooled in nano.

December

• more Marketplace Events spots – this time for home shows around the U.S. in 2010.
• Caribou Coffee spots – The tone and delivery in these spots makes me feel like we’re sitting on a front porch swing, lazing the day away.  And they’re all about handcrafted oatmeal.  And I got to spend some good time with my friends over at Babble-On Recording studios.  I love those engineers.
• General Mills spots for Tuesday Taco Night - you know you’ve made it when your VOs keep getting interrupted by a mariachi band.  Plus more time at Babble-On!  Whee!

Plenty to share for January already – but it’s a new year, so it gets a new post.  Here’s looking forward to a peaceful, prosperous 2010.  And I’ll actually work on getting all of these 2009 (and future) voice-over spots posted for your listening pleasure.  It’s not as hard as I make it sound, and yet here we are.  Soon, I promise.

I got up at 6:30 am last Sunday. For anyone who knows me, this is medal-worthy in and of itself. I got in the car and I drove it at 7:50 am.  Miraculously without incident, I was on location by 8:15. I was acting for the camera by 8:45 am; reciting lines that had been mostly memorized, improvising on command, even.  The issue with all of these things is two little letters – a and m, put together.  Yeesh.  Perhaps a modest 2,000 lb commemorative statue erected downtown is a more proper reward-to-accomplishment ratio.

All this early morning insanity was for my role as Nerve 123080 in The System, Cristina Cordova and Juan Antonio del Rosario’s latest adventure – a feature-length independent film “in which a red blood cell and a neurotransmitter set out to save the world.”  It is, of course, about many other things – the effect of cocaine on the body, class warfare, socialism v. capitalism…I could go on, but I won’t, because you just need to see it and I can assure you it will be good.  Juan Antonio and Cristina, as you’ll recall, were my directors for Chasing Windmills, the web series in which they also played Q and D, respectively.  I adore them, and I adore working with them – so an 11-hour good-time was had by all.  Yep, 11 hours for me that day.  11 hours that led to the introduction of some seriously first class actors and some actors who are seriously first class people.

One of the highlights of my afternoon involved fellow actor Sean Erik Hoffman (in the role of Sacco) making up a hilarious 1980s-style sitcom-opening-credits-song about Trotsky (played by Gary Keast who had just finished rocking the hell out of his Big Speech) – Sean did a little dance and sang, “if you’ve got a pizza, he’ll share it with your friends! – TROTSKY!”  Picture a stoic Trotsky walking along a sidewalk, suddenly jumping into the air, clicking his heels together, arms spread wide – freeze frame.   We found it hilarious.  Perhaps you had to be there.  We were punchy.  Sacco also nicknamed me Nervil, which was just shy of completely adorable.

To wrap up the day, sweet Cristina gently touched a finger to my forehead and said, “don’t forget you have this on” – she was referring to the barcode that had been stamped and re-stamped there throughout the day.  Only the Nerves (there were three of us) were stamped…I guess I felt special, so I kept it on until I got home, when I tackled it with makeup remover.  And yet it remained.  Then I tried Aloe.  Didn’t work.  Soap.  No dice.  Baby oil.  Denied.  I posted about it on Facebook and got a speedy reply that led to toothpaste.  It stung a little.  And it worked.

Anyway, keep an eye out for this puppy’s release. It was a hell of a lot of fun to film (Juan Antonio and I tend to get a little giggly when we’re supposed to be working together), and I imagine it’ll be a hell of a lot of fun to watch. In the interim, you can follow the film’s progress via the blog and Twitter.

Every year, often quarterly, I notice a small void between performance-related activities and idiotically dive into a vortex of emotional self-abuse. It starts with a broad, all-encompassing, “I’m not doing enough as a performer!” and twists and whirls its way into a tight, frenzied, “Why am I kidding myself?! – I’m past my prime! – I used to be moderately good, and now I’m just a lazy-good-for-nothing-egotist-with-a-ridiculously-inappropriate-sense-of-entitlement!” It ultimately whittles down to a quantum-level slide through the fabric of reality as we know it, into an alternate plane of absolutes – “I don’t EVER do ANYTHING! EVER! My vocation is a JOKE! People are STARVING and DYING, and I’m panicking about my weight!” followed by inconsolable tears and self-loathing.

As if there ever was any doubt whatsoever – I am the stereotypical “needy” actor. If I remember correctly, my last director opted for the term “psychotic.” Lovingly.  It’s important to remind myself of this, lest I wind back up in the downy comfort of denial – “no, no –I’m different.  I hate needy actors.  I consider myself one of the few performers who can actually function normally in civilized society.”  Because man, that warm blanket is co-ZY.  And it is a harsh awakening to have that ripped off the bed.  Which happens.  A lot.

In times like these I’ve learned that my calendar is one of scant wormholes back to this particular reality (and God bless Moleskine). An hour spent with my little black book, a pad of paper, and a pen is easily worth several weeks of therapy.  I leaf through, page by page, writing down all my performance projects since the start of the year.  That said, I invite you to join me in an exercise for sanity – behold this year’s accomplishments, thus far:

1/04/08 – Voice-over gig for the Kansas City Lottery
1/07/08 – Joined AFTRA
1/28/08 – Voice-over gig for LifeTime Fitness
2/07/08 – (and onward) Performed in the Twin Cities Chekhov Festival
2/23/08 – Performed “Mrs. Man of God” in Columbus, Ohio
3/01/08 – Performed as the Red Carpet host for the Shack Nasty Costume Ball
3/24/08 – Performed in a round-table reading at The Playwrights’ Center
4/06/08 – Performed via video in Gremlin Theater’s “Everywhere Signs Fall”
4/21/08 – Performed in a round-table reading at The Playwrights’ Center
4/30/08 – Voice-over gig for Landscape Structures Inc’s GlobalReleaf Project
5/07/08 – Voice-over gig for Cellular South
5/10/08 – Performed as a defendant in Faegre + Benson’s mock trials
5/12/08 – Performed in a round-table reading at The Playwrights’ Center
6/11/08 – Voice-over gigs (two) for Target (HP Pavilion and Toshiba Laptops)
7/11/08 – (and onward) Performed in “Slasher,” as part of The Playwrights’ Center’s annual PlayLabs series
8/11/08 – (and onward) Rehearsed for + performed in “Wellstone!”
9/05/08 – Voice-over gig for Kona Grill
10/07/08 – Performed in a round-table reading at The Playwrights’ Center
10/29/08 – Voice-over gigs (seven) for General Mills’ Totino’s Pizza products
11/16/08 – Begin rehearsals for and performance in “A Christmas Story” in St. Croix Falls, WI

Add to that nine other “close calls” and castings that didn’t work out due to schedule conflicts, and that’s not a bad year.  Big breath in…..ahhhhhhh, reality.  So nice to be home.

The weekend before last was a whirlwind of filmmaking chaos and excitement – the 48-hour Film Project sat upon Minneapolis, and the town was appropriately aflutter. To put it plainly, 60 production companies (that makes Minneapolis the third largest in the nation, thankyouverymuch) got together for our assignments on a Friday evening at Cuzzy’s, a bar that should only seat about 17 people but somehow crammed in about 139 before the revolt and subsequent move to the parking lot. There, each company drew out of a hat a genre written on a slip of paper. Genres included such gems as Restoration Drama, Musical/Western, Foreign Language Film, Comedy, Mockumentary, Spy, Sci Fi, etc. After everyone had their genre in hand, the 48hFP Dudes in Charge (DIC) announced a character name and profession, a prop, and a line of dialogue – all of which had to be used in our films. Then we were released with the instruction to get back to Cuzzy’s and the DIC with a completely original 7-minute (max) film by 7 pm on Sunday. Yes, a mere 48 hours to work some cinematic magic.

And so we did. We had the best damn team these Twin Cities have ever seen – it is rare to be amongst so much staggeringly good talent across so many fields, from cinematography to music to editing to acting – I was so proud. Tired and cranky come Sunday, but proud.

And, as it turns out, for good reason: we’ve just been informed by the DIC that our little ditty was selected to be re-screened as part of the “Best of Minneapolis!” Yay, us! So – grab whoever is nearest, and swing on over to the Riverview Theater on June 27^th at 7 pm to view “Burnout Trail” and the 12 other besters. I only saw 10 out of the 60 when ours first screened last Tuesday – I can’t wait to see the others!

This experience hereby makes it on my personal “Best of Minneapolis” list. Indeed.

UPDATE: Well, a girl goes fishing a day earlier than planned, and all hell (the good kind) breaks loose! I just returned yesterday from the northwoods and it looks like while I was getting in touch with nature our film was getting in touch with the “Best Actor Ensemble” Award! Congrats, team! SO proud.

Oh man, I just saw more edited footage of The Monster of Phantom Lake, and dang, it looks good.

So why the title of this post? I’ll tell you why. In that same footage I noticed a huge continuity flaw with my hair. “Huge” only because it’s based on vanity; but noticeable nonetheless (and therefore something seemingly worth obsessing over).

The offending issue: by the time we got to shooting the last two scenes on the schedule, my curling iron had jumped off this world’s Functioning-Gadget Coil. Being that I work for an arts non-profit, my hair remained markedly straight for scenes 28 and 30 (the final scene). Big whoop, right? Yes, it IS a big whoop because I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WAS IN SCENE 29. The same scene 29 that gave us 89% humidity and a 3 a.m. wrap-up. Oh yes, curly-haired scene 29.

In an ideal world where scene 29 didn’t exist, it could have been accepted that Ms. Stephanie Yates set her hair in curlers before she left University for her study-weekend with Professor Jackson, but after a full day-and-a-half of tromping through the woods the curls naturally fell. BUT since scene 29 DOES exist, it looks like the curls had naturally fallen come scene 28, but upon arrival at the teenagers’ campsite (scene 29) Ms. Yates appears to have been attacked by woodland creatures with curling-irons.

I can’t wait to see the curly-to-straight-again transition from scene 29 to 30.

Storybook Voice: “Yes, children, on the other side of the forest, there are woodland creatures with flattening-irons. These two opposing gangs of style-savvy fauna have turf wars with one another involving jazz choreography and snappy musical numbers. There’s no killing, just some nasty scorch marks and the distinct odor of burning fur.”

And the worst part of it all – the hair looks way better straight (especially considering the humidity during the first few weeks of shooting was making my curls all weird and gross anyway). Gaaah!

I wonder what the director would say if I requested a re-shoot of scenes 1-27, + 29? Kidding, only kidding.

Cue Music: When you’re a bear, you’re a bear!…

Exeunt.

Last weekend we finished filming The Monster of Phantom Lake. The final scenes included the ultimate destruction of the monster costume by having the monster walk into, and then for the sake of the movie, out of, the lake. It looked pretty sweet, and our monster was a total sport. Especially despite the forced re-takes caused by the speed-boat morons in the background trailing a water-skier (it’s illegal to have gas-powered watercraft on that particular lake).

Then there was the kiss. The kiss that we decided not to rehearse for the sake of making it look spontaneous, the same kiss that ended with the cheesy cheek-to-cheek post-kiss bit (where we’re both facing the same direction and looking dreamily off into space) a la Doris Day and Rock Hudson. Or Shirley Jones and Gordon MacRae. Or Judy Garland and Tom Drake. Yes, my father raised me watching musicals, and I couldn’t help but open my big trap to make the suggestion – once spoken, it simply had to be done. I always thought it looked dorky when I watched it happen in those old films, now I can safely report that it feels at least twice as dorky as it looks.

So, now it’s editing time – I can’t wait to see it all finished and shiny with a score and everything. Although I am terrified of the audience response, and wish the Riverview Theater had secret two-way mirrors facing everyone so I could watch their reactions. Alas, no such luck. This is where the lack of immediate feedback just kills me… between on-camera work and voice work, I won’t know until long after the fact if I’ve engaged the audiences or not, and can’t make adjustments based on the energy in the room. We’ll just have to wait and see… wait… and… see…

Five points if you can name the source of that last line – because my memory is terrible.